plz talk dirty to me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
