I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
