On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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