There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
