Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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