you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
