she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
