Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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