used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
