Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You pole danced in your parka.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
