bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
