If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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