i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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