i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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