i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
