When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
