I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
