Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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