Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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