I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
