Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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