some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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