Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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