haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He kissed a someone with a penis
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
