You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
either way he was missing a nipple.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
