Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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