so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am midnight drunk by noon
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
