Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
