"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
home. puking in laundry basket.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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