We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
