But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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