I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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