# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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