Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
