I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
