whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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