I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
