I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
