can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
