he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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