i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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