It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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