apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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