so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
