I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
