I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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