she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think my moral compass just broke
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
