he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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