And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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