he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
