In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ate ashes out of my bong
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
