we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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